my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
