Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
