The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
