You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize