Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
