I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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