She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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