You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
