Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I love you. Go after that dick
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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