I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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