dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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