You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Plan B is the new Plan A
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
