the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
