my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
