pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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