no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
