is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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