Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
