Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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