I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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