we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My vagina just recognized that song.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
