oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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