she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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