he thought i was a dude.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
