no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like iHOP with fire
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
