your room smells of hookers.
And success
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
