she smelled like a LAN party
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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