I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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