I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
