Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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