the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
