Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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