I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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