is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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