Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
