would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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