i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
