she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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