Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize