there was a trapeze. enough said
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
