he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
