you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
