i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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