take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
