So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
