My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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