fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
