Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I need to sanitize my soul.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
