I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
