Taylor Swift is so right about you.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize