jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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