i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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