Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
