i permit you to call me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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