Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
