I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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