farters have to be the big spoon...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize