last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
