The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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