I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
