It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
