You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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