I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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